Just when my respect for Peruvian food is at an all-time high, I discover the dish known as salchipapas—the southern version of fish and chips, but with hot dog and chips. Any food in the world can instantly be made less appetizing with the careful addition of hot dog. This is why you're fat. For example, the Germans have managed to screw up curry with wurst.
On the other hand, a bacon-bellied papa frita might be interesting.
Apparently the State Department and the US Postal Service have no clue what happened to my passport application (sent via Certified Mail©). However, they had no problem cashing the check I'd sent them two weeks ago.
It's great that AT&T requires that customers have phone service in order to purchase DSL service. Otherwise, you'd have no means to call them up when it stops working.
It's almost impossible to find a good balsamic vinegar under $50. I think I've been fooled by the one time I found a bottle of good stuff for $12.
San Giuliano's $9/8.5oz 10 year vinegar is almost passable, except for the massive wave of Concord grape flavor it hits you with, and the big need for a malolactic fermentation. Fortunately, some pomegranate molasses and stoneground mustard thicken it up and smooth out the acid enough for a fine vinaigrette.
There's no way that I can vote for a "Obama Biden" ticket. Someone's got to change his name.
I would love it if courthouses sent out a simple questionnaire along with every jury duty notification:
- I know what jury nulltification is: (Yes/No)
- I have stopped beating my wife: (Yes/No)
It seems a bit pointless to go to the courthouse at 8:30am just to tell them that. It would save everyone a lot of trouble, and the increase in productivity might be good for our economy. Or maybe I'm just annoyed that they've switched courthouses on me, so that I have to wake up that much earlier tomorrow.
It's too bad that sarcasm is hard to convey in writing. Otherwise, these Thanks, "President" Bush signs would be great.
Also, I think someone has missed the irony that the "W" in "George Herbert Walker Bush" as well as "George Walker Bush" in fact stands for "Walker". In other words, it's somewhat nonsensical to stick a big W on your car.
It's always funny when you go to a concert and find out that the singer with incredible range actually turns out to be three sisters of varying degrees of femininity.
Also, I think it's hilarious that there's a band called Say Bok Gwai, playing 924 Gilman on August 8th.
According to Kip Hawley, head of the TSA, it's okay to bring loaded guns into the cabin of an airplane:
So, when you boil it down, keeping the bomb off the plane is the number one priority. A terrorist has to know that once that door closes, he or she is locked into a confined space with dozens, if not hundreds, of zero-tolerance people, some of whom may be armed with firearms, not to mention the memory of United Flight 93.
I'm incredibly freaked out by farsighted people. First of all, they can see really far. And second of all, their eyes look so huge behind those convex lenses.
Student journalists should know better than to take quotes from drunk people. Yeah, that's a delicious Anchor Steam beer in my hand. Unfortunately, the print (B&W) version doesn't quite clearly show the nature of the beverage.
I'm wondering if Younha's song "비밀번호 486" has anything to do with the ol' 80486.
Every time I go to the People's Republic of China (where this is the second time) I manage to get my mind blown. Somehow I was able to withstand peasant food with no ill effects: from delicious egg crêpes (which I swear must contain raw egg), to wontons served in abraded grimy plastic bowls, to noodles at the sidewalk stir-fry (whose proprietor directs you to the gutter when you offer to bus your "table"). In the end, what did me in was the fancy multi-story restaurant with private dining rooms and pretty waitress in French maid outfit.
The healthcare system is another thing. Blood tests come back in minutes, rather than hours (though it bothers me that the guy who took my blood is the same person who handled my other sample). While traditional Chinese medicine treats slowly using herbs, modern Chinese medicine treats anything and everything with an intravenous drip. I was pretty impressed by how my 103 degree fever went away with just one infusion of ciprofloxacin. I was not impressed with taking my meals through IV for another 30 hours while sitting next to sick people in the IV lounge.
The other creepy thing: woman milking herself into a cup with her bare hands while on IV. I just hope it wasn't rBST in her IV bag.
One thing hasn't changed though: the coffee still sucks. But the Manabe coffeeshops which serve Taiwanese food and have staff greet you in Japanese was an unexpected twist.
I can just imagine the debates that went on in San Francisco's street naming division. "It's not 'I shot him good', it's 'I shot him well'".
It seems as if all the cashiers in certain grocery stores have titles like "Head Clerk". I'd like to ask them if that has the same health plan as "World's Best Dad".
Are there any bad Samaritans?
One of the advantages of being Chinese is being able to monogram your personal effects without using a dull pair of initials. But I guess if your name is Charles Foster Kane and shop at Calvin Klein, everything you buy will be pre-monogrammed. Which is totally great if you're like me and hate wearing clothing with the company's logo emblazoned on the front. It'll just be a happy coincidence.
Fat people, i.e. those weighing more than 138 pounds, should not be allowed to mosh at concerts. Also, people who decide to mosh at clubs which serve beverages should learn a few things about the mechanical properties of glass.
Except for me, everyone in my office locks his computer when away, even for a minute. I'm not sure if it means that I'm the most trusting person, or the most untrustworthy person.
Suspension of disbelief is one thing, but Superman Returns takes it to a whole new level. Nevermind Superman's oft-debated muzzle velocity, how is anyone supposed to believe that the American Museum of Natural History will let you in without paying the full "suggested donation"? Those guys are like the Chinese buses that demand a specified tip amount.
Current Wii age: only 1.5 years more than my real age. Woohoo!
Things that get set up: computers, experiments (usually failed), Marion Barry, Bahamian bank accounts, complete strangers.
Things that get hooked up: stereos, scheduled substances, sexy strangers.
It's impressive how animals are able to distinguish between what's edible and what's not. Aquatic plants (at five dollars at pop) don't last more than a few days in my fish tank, and fish swarm in Pavlovian excitement when I open the hatch and toss in some flakes of ground brethren. But the three-inch fish with a six-inch tail (due to a sphincter that won't sphinct) is perfectly safe from predation.
People? Not so good at this valuable skill. At the Korean supermarket in Flushing (oddly deserted in a DPRK sort of way), I thought it a little odd that they couldn't spell "pork" properly yet could pluralize "uterus" just fine. Maybe "pork" is spelled "port" in Latin.